"This is Starlight, I can't come to the phone right now cause A. We're having a tea party, B. I'm at soccer practice or some other after-school activity, or C. I'm just to lazy to get the phone. In any event please leave a message and I'll call you back."
"Oh, I'm really truly sorry I'm not home to answer your call. I promise to return your call as soon as I get home."
"You've got to be good, you've got to be kind, you've got to leave a message at the beep."
"Hi, this is Brighteyes, I'm busy at the present moment, studying, volunteering, or saving the envirnoment, when I find the time, I will return your call.
"Hi, you reached Patch, I'm out, well duh, if I was home I'd pick up the phone."
"I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to ponies I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.
"Please leave your name, phone number, the time you called, and your favorite flavor of ice cream. I'll get back to you if I like the flavor."
"This is Ace, leave me a message, and I'll decide if you're worth my time to call back. If I don't call you back, don't take it personally. Take it as a suggestion to improve you social standings."
"Hey, this is Teddy. If I owe you money, I've picked up and moved to Bora Bora. If you owe me money, leave a message and I'll call you right back."
"This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call."
"Hey! Hey! Where did you get this number? What makes you think I want to talk to you? I'm just kidding, it was a joke, leave me a message."
"You know what to do!!"
"Congratulations, you are the one millionth caller and you have just won a . . . chance to talk to my answering machine! "
"Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep."